Random Thoughts

Dear grocery store customer

Dear Grocery Store Customer,

Yes, as your cashier, a large part of my job is to be courteous and helpful to you. However, in the interest of maximum efficiency and future pleasant transactions between us, there are a few points I would like to make clear.

Just because I am wearing a name tag does not mean I want you to call me by name as I ring up your purchase. Nor is it an invitation to sing at me. The song you are attempting to sing is not about someone who shares my name, which is not pronounced the way you are pronouncing it. I do not find you singing at me cute, or clever, or funny, and neither would you after the twentieth time. That you are a chronologically mature man (it is always older men who do this) makes it even more pathetic.

Imagine you are at work, and I come into your workplace, oh, say, a bank, and your name is posted on your desk. I take one look at your name plate–let’s say it reads “Daniel Jones,”–and I begin to sing Elton John’s “Daniel.”

That would be all kinds of awkward for both of us, wouldn’t it? I doubt you’d find it cute, or clever, or funny. So let’s just not sing at each other.

And while we’re talking about communication, let’s discuss cell phones. Specifically, your use of them in the checkout line. I am not a machine. I can hear everything you are saying, since you are standing less than three feet away from me. And I really, REALLY do not need to hear about the bad sex you had last night, nor the medical condition you can’t get rid of, nor the fact that you are really pissed off at your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/significant other and want him/her/it to know just how you are feeling. I do not want to hear the bitchy gossip you are sharing with a “friend.” I do not want to know how much you hate your mother in law/father in law/ex husband. The fact that your puerile personal cell phone conversation is more important to you than being attentive to the people physically around you, or extending simple courtesy to the person with whom you are transacting business has not escaped my attention either. Feel free to ignore me.

I will however remember you and I will blog about you later.

Speaking of later…your children will not be children forever. One day they will grow up. And all things being equal, no matter what education they get, no matter what career path they take, one day they may end up doing a job they never planned on doing. Like being a grocery store cashier. Now would be a good time to teach them that there is no disgrace in doing honest labor. That just because someone is grocery store cashier does not mean he or she is uneducated and ignorant.

That teenage daughter of yours who says to you snippily, “What difference does it make if I can’t figure out how to put the groceries in the bag, I’m never going to work in a grocery store” may just have to eat her words one day.

And while we’re talking about the future, I realize that you think your refusal to use plastic bags, or paper bags, or any bags at all, will somehow make you the Savior of the Planet. In reality it will not. Your refusal to use plastic bags and your dirty bunches of beets and dripping raw chicken simply create a sloppy mess. Your insistence on only using one bag for three bags worth of food makes no sense. But hey, if it makes you happy to shove $149 of groceries into one dirty reusable canvas sack, raw fruit, vegetables and meats all shoved in together, hey, it’s your money buying the smashed bread and bruised bananas. Just don’t waste my time telling me how noble you are in eschewing bags. I don’t care that you are more worried about the planet than your own health or economic well being.

I. Don’t. Care. And I think you’re an idiot. The car you are driving to and from the store is far more damaging to the environment than the few disposable bags in which I attempt to place your purchases. You want to be noble, carry your groceries home on foot or on a bike, not in a BMW. I will not point out the blatant hypocrisy of your environmentalism however; I will smile at you, and ask you if you’d like help out with your groceries, and wish you a nice day.  I will not take out upon you the frustration of dealing with countless obnoxious, rude, insensitive and self righteous customers.

I will however, blog about it all later. A person has to have some kind of outlet after all.

Not your ordinary nutritional supplement

C. S. Lewis once wrote, “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.”

The people of China are just that, immortal individuals. They are capable of acts of individual bravery.

They are also capable of acts of unthinkable depravity.

Since last August, customs officials in South Korea say they have intercepted between 17,000 and 17,500 pills filled with finely-ground human baby flesh, which is said to be both a stamina-enhancer and medical panacea in parts of Asia.

The Daily Mail explains:

The grim trade is being run from China where corrupt medical staff are said to be tipping off medical companies when babies are aborted or delivered still-born.

The tiny corpses are then bought, stored in household refrigerators in homes of those involved in the trade before they are removed and taken to clinics where they are placed in medical drying microwaves.

Once the skin is tinder dry, it is pummeled into powder and then processed into capsules along with herbs to disguise the true ingredients from health investigators and customs officers.

…Even more horrifying, if possible, some are reporting that it may not have only been aborted or stillborn babies used in the pills– it‘s possible that some were born and left to die in China’s “dying rooms” before being ground for the capsules, because they were born into families that already had one child.

Of course, Chinese officials are not responding to media questions, and they are not publicly decrying the situation (nor will they be pressed to do so by South Korea, due to concern over a potential “diplomatic rift”).

God forbid we should cause a diplomatic rift over something as trite as 21st century Soylent Green.

God forbid anyone should question why China retains “most favored nation” status despite Tiananmen Square, its one-child policy and forced abortion. We are urged to accept that tainted milk and melamine-laced pet food are isolated incidents, not examples of a prevailing ethos that scorns fundamental human rights. I’m sure the “stamina capsules” filled with powdered human flesh are just an isolated situation, and not a flagrant in-your-face example of how little the Chinese government and Chinese businesses value ethics and human life in general.

Including the lives of their own people, and especially the lives of Chinese children. Illegal babies (i.e. conceived without the permission of the government and disposed of in the millions each year) are of more value as a “stamina pill” than they are as living breathing human beings.

I submit that the Chinese government does not believe that its citizens are capable of individual splendors, nor does it care about the individual horrors in its midst (it is individuals who are making the decision to produce and market such an abomination, and individuals who are processing the dead infants into powder). As long as money is to be made and power is to be held onto, officially there is nothing untoward occurring in China.

And pay no attention to the Chinese who dare to speak out against their own government. Surely if a flagrant violation of human rights were occuring our own government would intervene…wouldn’t it?

If there’s enough outcry over human flesh sold as a nutritional supplement, the Chinese government will just find some hapless mid level official, execute him, and the “problem” will be solved.

Nope, nothing to see there. Carry on.

Tan like a mummy

When I saw this, I admit, I thought it was some kind of Onion spoof.

But no, it’s real. Really stupid too.

A New Jersey woman arrested for allegedly putting her 5-year-old daughter in a tanning booth says it was all a big misunderstanding.

Patricia Krentcil, 44, told NBC’s local New York affiliate that she took her daughter with her to a local tanning salon but that the child was not exposed to the booth’s synthetic UV rays.

“I tan, she doesn’t tan,” Krentcil said. “I’m in the booth, she’s in the room. That’s all there is to it.”

Krentcil, of Nutley, N.J., was arrested last week, and charged Tuesday with felony child endangerment. She was released on a $25,000 bond and is due in court Wednesday.

“It’s like taking your daughter to go food shopping,” Krentcil said. “There’s tons of moms that bring their children in.”

Police, though, say Krentcil put her daughter in an upright tanning booth.

New Jersey state law prohibits children under the age of 14 from tanning booths. Children between the ages of 14 and 17 must be accompanied by an adult.

Police were alerted by school officials, who say Krentcil’s daughter showed up for school with what appeared to be a sunburn, then told classmates she “went tanning with Mommy.”

Rich Krentcil, the girl’s father, told NBC the teacher misinterpreted his daughter.

“This whole big thing happened, and everyone got involved,” he said. “It was 85 degrees outside, she got sunburned. That’s it. That’s all that happened.”

No. No it is not like taking a child grocery shopping…unless you tan like you eat, daily, which would explain Krencil’s skin being the color and texture of leather.

Actually, most of the leather items I have (including riding boots and a saddle) are lighter in color, and I daresay less weathered.

Obviously, Krentcil has taught her child that this kind of excessive tanning is “normal.” Most little girls want to imitate their moms. It is perfectly understandable that her daughter would want to do what mom does (just as little girls in Kretcil’s food shopping example want to push the cart and put groceries in it). And it’s perfectly understandable that a woman who has tanned herself the color of Diet Coke on purpose would find nothing wrong in putting her kid under the UV lamps. I find it impossible though to give credence to the explanation (gardening sunburn?!) of a woman whose own self image is so distorted that she has turned her own skin into cowhide.

Not the most egregious example of crappy parenting by a long shot, but it isn’t smart, nor healthy for the kid. Maybe all this attention will clue in someone (apparently not her husband who is backing up her cockamamie sunburn story) close to her to get her help so that she can stop the obsessive tanning before she ends up looking like this:

Vita brevis

Thankfully, Mr. Random Thoughts still has his job, though any sense of security in it has been severely rattled. By nature more of a pessimist than an optimist, it is not easy for him to look past the panic a layoff engenders, and see what possibilities there might be in such a dreaded thing. Could there be an upside to nearly losing one’s job? Might it open one’s eyes to possibilities previously unconsidered? This is not a train of thought Mr. Random Thoughts willingly rides. And so it becomes easier for both of us to focus on the fear of losing his job, and to bemoan my own lack of full time employment, and to lament the economic uncertainty of these days in general.

Then I read about little Avery Canahuati.

Avery Canahuati, a baby who inspired countless readers as she raised awareness while struggling with a rare disease, has died. Her father Michael wrote of his daughter’s passing on the blog he and his wife had created for her, “Avery’s Bucket List.” The blog, written in Avery’s voice, encourages readers to share the story and to raise awareness about spinal muscular atrophy (SMA). …her parents decided to create the bucket list to make the most of her time alive and to spread awareness on the rare disease with no treatment yet.

“We can watch her die, or we can let her live,” her father Michael said. “And through letting her live we’re going to try and educate other people about this so they don’t have to go through it too.”

At 5-months-old Avery was able to scratch many items off her bucket list: The girl got her first kiss, a tattoo (temporary), her first trip to a baseball game, and other milestones aimed at spreading SMA awareness and encouraging parents to get screened for the SMA gene.

I think it’s safe to say that Avery has left more of an lasting impact on the world after only a few short months of life than some folks will do in 80+ years.

The difference seems to be a focus on others rather than self. That’s what Avery’s parents managed to have. They knew she was not destined to grow up–that every single day brought them one day closer to losing her. They chose not to focus on that excruciating fact, but instead to celebrate each day with their daughter. Avery’s parents adored their precious daughter, but her illness did not make them selfish. It made them look beyond themselves. It made them care more about others, and they allowed their personal tragedy to be a means of reaching out to others. .

That, frankly, is amazing. Human beings are by nature self-centered. Pain, particularly emotional pain, can make us even more so. The willingness to find purpose in the midst of pain, well, that is something special indeed.

May God comfort the Canahuatis and bring them peace and renewed purpose during what is certainly the most painful time of their lives.

Avery Canahuati

And then they escort you from the building…

An office email you don’t want to find in your inbox first thing in the morning:

From: S—- N—–
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 8:14 AM
To: S—- N—–; A—– N—-; L—– T——; G— M–; D—– S——-
Subject: Team Meeting
When: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:00 PM-12:30 PM (GMT-08:00) Pacific Time (US & Canada).
Where: My Office

All,

Sorry to have to book this during lunch, but we need to meet, and this is the first available opportunity to do so.  We may not need the entire thirty minutes.  Details will follow.  Please let me know if you have any scheduling conflicts with this time.

Thanks much,

S—-

An email you REALLY don’t want to receive just before the aforementioned meeting:

From: J– P—–
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:58 AM
To: L——- A——– Company
Subject: Company-Wide Meeting Today

All Employees,

There will be a company- wide meeting on the 16^th floor in the open area between accounting and actuarial at 1:30 today.  J– G——-, our CEO, will give some information with respect to the events today and his perspective on L——-’s future. He will be available for any questions that you may have after that.

I encourage you to attend.  Remote employees may call 8**-8**-**** to attend via telephone.

J–

The “events today?” Layoffs. They’ve been going on at his workplace since shortly after Mr. Random Thoughts received the first email this morning. In a typically high tech heartless manner, the name of the axed employee disappears from the company directory at about the same time he or she is called into the Human Resources office to be fired. Meanwhile, the remaining staff are hitting “refresh” on their computers, hoping that their name does not suddenly disappear.

So far, Mr. Random Thought’s name is still visible. As I type, he’s in one of the two meetings, being told how “today’s events” directly affect him.

The last time we went through this scenario (1993), he was told he would not be laid off (they called it a “survivor’s meeting”) only to be told it was a mistake, and that he was laid off after all. Not an experience either of us care to repeat.

No, we did not see this coming, though I am not surprised. We may not be in a double dip recession, but it sure feels like it around here.

The Myth of Control

Life has been BUSY lately, as I’ve been working three different part time jobs at the same time, attempting to feed and clothe the men in my house, and making a quick trip to visit The Daughters in Seattle. How business travelers do the whole there-and-back-again-on-the-same-day air travel thing on a routine basis, I have no idea. It would make me lose what’s left of my mind. And LAX just plain sucks, but discussing how badly it sucks would take up an entire blog post. I don’t want to spend a post ranting about airports and the misery of traveling in a Canadair Jet, i.e. a tin can with wings, and nobody wants to read that kind of post either, so let’s just say if we could come up with a teleportation method a la Star Trek’s transporters, I would PAY REAL MONEY for that.

I have just been informed by Youngest Son that there are 28 more days of school left in his school year.

The mind reels. And panic sets in. That means that there are only seven weeks left of substitute teaching in the school year. And my third part time job, scoring state mandated English essays, just wrapped up for the school year.

All too soon, my income over five months will be solely from my part time grocery store cashier job. And there is no prospect of permanent full time employment on the horizon.

What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

I find myself realizing–truly realizing, deep down–that I simply can not control my life.

And I’m actually okay with that. I figure that whatever I’m meant to do, be it cashiering in a grocery store, or teaching in a classroom, or something else entirely, God will make it clear to me.

At the Church We’ve Been Attending Regularly, not coincidentally (it’s too perfectly timed to be coincidence) the pastor today pointed out that we Christians tend to buy into the myth of control, thinking that we really do have control over our lives. The truth is, God controls, and we get to walk with Him and trust Him.

This is an incredibly powerful reassurance to me as I face the unknowns of my future.

In the meantime, Youngest Son has made the decision to return to his absurdly expensive private school thanks to their scholarship award covering nearly half the yearly tuition. In three short years he’ll be through with high school. That’s almost as hard to believe as the fact that this school year is winding down.

Meanwhile, who knows, maybe something really worthwhile–something I can put my abilities toward in a way I’d never considered before–is just around the corner. Anything can and does happen.

So predictable

I am shocked, shocked, I tell you. Except really not.

MODESTO, Calif. — A former California teacher who made national headlines when he left his job and family to move in with an 18-year-old student was arrested Friday on suspicion of sexually abusing a different student more than a decade ago, police said.

Christopher [James] Hooker, 41, was arrested at his home and booked in Stanislaus County Jail on one count of oral copulation with a minor.

Police said the case stems from a 1998 relationship he had with a 17-year-old student when he was a teacher at Davis High School in Modesto. The girl was a student at a different school, police said.

How can this be?! I thought his One True Love (no, not his wife and the mother of his three daughters) was the current teenaged student with whom he’s shacking up. Could it be that this man is–dare I suggest it–a sexual predator?

So predictable. At least he’s got that nice teaching pension to help pay his legal fees.