Random Thoughts

Fa la la la la indeed

November 30, 2012 on 10:49 pm | In Christmas, daily life, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

A few nights ago, Mr. Random Thoughts was going through an assortment of snail mail (invariably our mailbox contains nothing but ads and the occasional bill). Suddenly and without warning, he began singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” substituting lyrics which had nothing to do with partridges and pear trees.

He’d been thumbing through this magazine:

And he’d come across this half page ad:

Costco the Warehouse Superstore + Christmas = Prophylactics?

OhhhhKAY.

We’ve been shopping at Costco for years–ever since our four children were babies. From what I’ve seen, Costco is the place where families like ours pick up large quantities of essential items–families for whom it makes sense to buy 200 diapers at one time, or a dozen rolls of paper towels, or a three-pack of quart sized peanut butter jars. These days though, with only Youngest Son still at home, we don’t buy very much at Costco anymore, except during the holidays when their prices on things like flat screen TVs and computer printers are lower than just about every other retailer’s.

I never thought of Costco as a place to shop for condoms in bulk, though I suppose that makes sense too. If you’re buying eight boxes of toothpaste at one time, why not a supersize box of Trojans?

It’s the whole Christmas theme that makes it weird, at least to me.

Does Christmas mean there will be more sexual activity than normal? Enough to require a purchase of 40 condoms? That’s more than three condoms for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Maybe the extra four will be for New Years Eve?

Maybe the guy who is going to use that 40-pack of Trojans gets Viagra in bulk from Costco too.

But “Tis the Season?” The season for being jolly and decking the halls?

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
‘Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Troll the ancient Yule-tide carol
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la…

I suppose that Trojan condoms are “gay apparel” as well. Please tell me Costco and Trojan weren’t going there, dragging a great old Christmas Carol along for the ride..

Now I think I’ll just go sit in my happy little corner filled with innocent Christmas memories from a time where “gay” simply meant very happy, and mistletoe and condoms were never seen in conjunction with each other.